Before the Work: A Pre-Therapy Companion Course
Module 1: Where Am I, Really?
In this module, you’ll explore what’s present for you — from the loudest thoughts to the quietest signals — and begin to tune in to how your nervous system and inner parts are showing up. Not to analyze or fix, but simply to notice what’s present.
On this page you will find:
An introductory video to the module
A written message to reinforce learning,
A fillable self-reflection, and
A video of one of my favourite grounding exercises (guided by me!)
This module sets the tone for how we’ll work together — not from a place of pressure or performance, but with presence and honesty.
Let’s walk through it together.
A Framework For Self-Awareness
Sometimes we come to therapy ready to share and explore. Other times, we arrive in a fog or with a swirl of thoughts. That’s not a problem — it’s a sign of what you’ve been carrying.
The work doesn’t begin with answers. It begins with noticing.
Some people speak of the Window of Tolerance as the Window of Presence — a state where we’re not dissociated, not bracing, not scanning for danger. Just gently aware, open, and connected.
In this window, we can notice what’s happening within and around us without being swept away by it. It’s not about perfection, but about enough safety to stay with ourselves.
When we know what presence feels like — even briefly — we begin to recognize what brings us closer… and what pulls us away.
Compassionate Reflection
The next reflection is a simple check-in. Not a test, but a snapshot. A moment to meet yourself with honesty and compassion.
When you’re ready, open the reflection:
👉“Where Am I, Really?”
🌿Integration Exercise
Now that you’ve taken a moment to reflect on where you are — mentally, emotionally, physically — let’s stay with that awareness a little longer.
Rather than jumping straight into words or analysis, we’re going to feel our way forward.
The next exercise is an invitation to engage your body and breath, to gently anchor into the present moment. This isn’t about getting it “right” — it’s about tuning in, listening closely, and allowing whatever is there to simply be.
When you’re ready, move into the guided practice below. Let your reflection inform how you show up for this moment — with tenderness, with curiosity, with permission to just be where you are.
This is called The 4 Elements (often taught in the preparatory stage of EMDR).
Takeaways
You’ve just taken the first step — not by solving anything, but by pausing to truly notice. That matters. In trauma healing, presence is progress.
Whether today felt grounding, confusing, emotional, or subtle, the work you’ve done is valid. You showed up. You practiced awareness. You offered yourself the kind of attention that begins to soften old survival patterns.
As we move into the next module, carry this with you:
You don’t have to feel “ready” or have it all together.
You just have to keep showing up with curiosity and care.
This isn’t about striving — it’s about returning.
To your breath.
To your body.
To your Self.
You’re doing great. I’ll see you in Module 2.
Warmly,
Kirsten
© 2025 Kirsten Boulier, MSW, RCSW | Healing Quest Counselling
Please do not share, copy, or distribute this content without consent. This work is offered with care and attention.